不知不觉 他回国也差不多2个多月了 对他却没有特别的挂念和想念 只是偶尔上上MSN 看他在不在
本来想在这个summer 认识多一点男性朋友 可是windsor终究就那么大 帅哥就没几个~！ (郁闷中~)
说真的 没有他在的日子 我活得更自在 轻松 因为 他在的时候 我就不由自主地想去依赖他 让我感情上有寄托 （因为一直以来 他是我唯一认识的男性朋友）我本身就是个没安全感和放不下的人 我就是不舍得伤害和不舍得 let go 这个难得对我好，喜欢我的人 我怕我失去之后会后悔 可同时我清楚知道他不是我爱的人 我讨厌自己的 “拿得起 放不下“。。 感情很快就放出去了 但是就怎么也放不下 （就算我知道他不是我理想中的情人）他对我的好 每次都让我陷入困境 烦恼 好烦~
无可否认 现在他对我已不如从前的好 因为我对情人要求很高 他只能对我一个人好 眼里也只可以有我一个人 但是 。。。gradually 我第6感sense 到他对我的感情也慢慢淡了。。只是他没说出口而已 有时我就因此而难过 为什么我会有种莫名的伤感呢？是我没珍惜他吗？还是我在不知不觉中已经喜欢上他了? 这些伤感随着他回国 也消失了
很怕 他9月再回来时 我会再度对他有期望 很怕我感情再一次放出去 很怕我又回到那个depressed & controlling self ~ 就好像整个人又被他牵着 我不想再当那样的我 我不想因为他瞒着我单独跟别的女生去吃饭 而静静的哭
说到底 我喜欢被我爱的人珍惜, 疼, 呵护, 关心, 保护 我要的是 我心情好 陪我大笑 心情不好 聆听和逗我笑的那个人 ~~ ohh 还有是个浪漫的人是最好不过啦^^
朋友都说 最好是找个爱你的人结婚 别选你爱的人做终身伴侣 哪怕是你多爱他百分之十 你都会痛苦 。。 这个很难说 要亲自体验才知道 哎呀, 结婚对我来说还早着呢 (但我这个年龄是应该有个bf 了) 唉 。。。{ true love is hard to find } 我总算明白了
我会保持着愉快 开朗的性格 因为十个里的九个都喜欢那样的女孩 。。alwayz remind myself ~!!
小时候 总觉得会有很多人追 根本就不担心会找不到bf ..... but everything is different now ... i need to concern about this ! seriously ~!! 女人的年龄是很有限的 应趁有本钱的时候 物色一个
要不几年之后 没本钱了 才暗自伤心 那就太迟了~!!!
BUT --- [easier said than done] where to find goood guys ??? anyhows, I am gonna try my very BEST ~~!!!
A ZA, Jeyie ~!!
说了半天 我还是会选我爱的人 (at least for now ~)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
i love 舞动奇迹 (season 2) ！
最近常追看 "舞动奇迹" 个人特别特别喜欢里面的"胡定欣 + 李承铉" 很喜欢看到他们make fun 的样子 超可爱~!! 也喜欢看他俩一起跳舞 感觉他们是舞台上的perfect match ~!!
我就喜欢看他俩在舞动奇迹里的表演 ！
Just love it !!
Here are some links
http://www.xiaoli.cc/video/detail/1895
http://entertainment.tvb.com/strictlycomedancing/artistes/4.php?row=19&video=http://vdo.tvb.com/g/20080602/20080602110546328-dance_1-30may2008.flv&image=
我就喜欢看他俩在舞动奇迹里的表演 ！
Just love it !!
Here are some links
http://www.xiaoli.cc/video/detail/1895
http://entertainment.tvb.com/strictlycomedancing/artistes/4.php?row=19&video=http://vdo.tvb.com/g/20080602/20080602110546328-dance_1-30may2008.flv&image=
Sunday, June 29, 2008
All these fantacies & blah blah blah
I've different fantacies about romantic love since young ~
In elementary school,
I wish someone would slip a love letter in my textbook...
In high school,
I wish someone would kiss me and say " I love you" .....
In university,
I wish I could get a big surprise ~ e.g: he & I would be on a helicopter enjoying the beautiful night sky view of New York City and he would hug me from the back, saying " you are the one I've been seeking in my entire life. Jeyie ~"
Sadly ... none of these turns out to be real ~
Is that because I'm too introvert ? or too rational ?
In fact, I'm the invisible girl .....
and the one who lacks of sense of security ....
In childhood,
I am afraid of losing parents' love ... I worried my parents would love my brother more than me ~ part of the reasons I seldom have heart-to-heart talk with my parents when I was young ...
In adolescence,
I'm afraid of losing friendships ... I worried my friends would see me as a loser ... that's why I keep all the secrets to myself always ... I don't want others think I'm weak ... so I never talk about my 心事 to any of my friends, not even the best ones .... e.g : I wouldn't have written this post from the bottom of my heart if i know this blog can be accessed by everyone ~~
In adulthood,
Thought I would share every joy & sorrow with my beloved one .... but I am afraid he would think I'm pessimistic and feeling pathetic towards me .... and afraid he'd dump me someday for not being cheerful enough ...
I've all these worries just because I lack of sense of security .... as time goes by, it leads me to be an introvert person - shy to talk to others, over worried often and over thought of unnecessary stuff ....
Wheather you realized or not, I always look cool in a way .... Frankly, I'm a very rational person ... just feel that I think too rationally at times =.= * e.g : I couldn't stand the guy that I like treating others like how he treats me ... I couldn't stand he keeps talking about other girls when I'm talking over the phone with him ... I couldn't stand he deleted birthday blogs he wrote for me during my birthdays .... all he used were just lame excuses ~ You know what, I don't wanna be soo rational sometimes ... cuz that's tiring .... really .... I cried couple times over those stuff ..... you might think they are trivial, but I don't think so ... really feel like talking to someone about those stuff ... but again, I don't want others think I'm weak ~
Honestly, keeping secrets are sooo hard most of the time ....not others' but my own .... i wish i could just cry out loud or "throw" everything bothersome to someone .... all i need is just a solid shoulder to lean on ...... that's obviously not too much of a request, isn't it ?
I am an invisible girl ..... but whatever it's or whatever it turns out to be, I cherish the hope that the one who would look through my heart to show up someday ~~~
I know you will notice me, my Mr. Right ~! Even though i've no idea how long it's gonna take, I will be here waiting for you to love me =P - as i alwayz will ~!
In elementary school,
I wish someone would slip a love letter in my textbook...
In high school,
I wish someone would kiss me and say " I love you" .....
In university,
I wish I could get a big surprise ~ e.g: he & I would be on a helicopter enjoying the beautiful night sky view of New York City and he would hug me from the back, saying " you are the one I've been seeking in my entire life. Jeyie ~"
Sadly ... none of these turns out to be real ~
Is that because I'm too introvert ? or too rational ?
In fact, I'm the invisible girl .....
and the one who lacks of sense of security ....
In childhood,
I am afraid of losing parents' love ... I worried my parents would love my brother more than me ~ part of the reasons I seldom have heart-to-heart talk with my parents when I was young ...
In adolescence,
I'm afraid of losing friendships ... I worried my friends would see me as a loser ... that's why I keep all the secrets to myself always ... I don't want others think I'm weak ... so I never talk about my 心事 to any of my friends, not even the best ones .... e.g : I wouldn't have written this post from the bottom of my heart if i know this blog can be accessed by everyone ~~
In adulthood,
Thought I would share every joy & sorrow with my beloved one .... but I am afraid he would think I'm pessimistic and feeling pathetic towards me .... and afraid he'd dump me someday for not being cheerful enough ...
I've all these worries just because I lack of sense of security .... as time goes by, it leads me to be an introvert person - shy to talk to others, over worried often and over thought of unnecessary stuff ....
Wheather you realized or not, I always look cool in a way .... Frankly, I'm a very rational person ... just feel that I think too rationally at times =.= * e.g : I couldn't stand the guy that I like treating others like how he treats me ... I couldn't stand he keeps talking about other girls when I'm talking over the phone with him ... I couldn't stand he deleted birthday blogs he wrote for me during my birthdays .... all he used were just lame excuses ~ You know what, I don't wanna be soo rational sometimes ... cuz that's tiring .... really .... I cried couple times over those stuff ..... you might think they are trivial, but I don't think so ... really feel like talking to someone about those stuff ... but again, I don't want others think I'm weak ~
Honestly, keeping secrets are sooo hard most of the time ....not others' but my own .... i wish i could just cry out loud or "throw" everything bothersome to someone .... all i need is just a solid shoulder to lean on ...... that's obviously not too much of a request, isn't it ?
I am an invisible girl ..... but whatever it's or whatever it turns out to be, I cherish the hope that the one who would look through my heart to show up someday ~~~
I know you will notice me, my Mr. Right ~! Even though i've no idea how long it's gonna take, I will be here waiting for you to love me =P - as i alwayz will ~!
Friday, June 27, 2008
the longest post so far !
Abandoned this blog for quite a while ... i m back now ~!! erm, finished 371 final on Monday and then watched fireworks at night .. damn, brought the camera and thought i could shoot myself a nice fireworks photo as facebook profile pic ... god knows, after I took video for about 4 mins, the camera ran out of battery !! sigh, coincidently, Nancy's camera got the same problem too @_@
but my battery is non-rechargable so there's no way to know if it still works beforehand... >.< ""
Anyhow, those fireworks were amazing ~~!!! They lighted up the dark night sky .... I wish I could watch it with my loved one next year =) how romantic it would be ~~
ok, we went to watch "Get Smart" the next day night .... the movie that I've been awaiting since May ~!! it never disappointed me ... it was a great movie - action + funny ~ I laughed till I cried haha ... I strongly recommend you guys go watch it ~!! guess what ?! it had $39 M debut !! hmm it definitely worth me waiting ~ heheheh
Went shopping on Wed .... bought a blouse and a coat ... that coat is kinda pricey ... but i still bought it eventually .... (i like it sooo sooo much !) -- not the coat but blouse though keke
now, I need to prepare for 458 presentation ... i hate that ~ haihh
but my battery is non-rechargable so there's no way to know if it still works beforehand... >.< ""
Anyhow, those fireworks were amazing ~~!!! They lighted up the dark night sky .... I wish I could watch it with my loved one next year =) how romantic it would be ~~
ok, we went to watch "Get Smart" the next day night .... the movie that I've been awaiting since May ~!! it never disappointed me ... it was a great movie - action + funny ~ I laughed till I cried haha ... I strongly recommend you guys go watch it ~!! guess what ?! it had $39 M debut !! hmm it definitely worth me waiting ~ heheheh
Went shopping on Wed .... bought a blouse and a coat ... that coat is kinda pricey ... but i still bought it eventually .... (i like it sooo sooo much !) -- not the coat but blouse though keke
now, I need to prepare for 458 presentation ... i hate that ~ haihh
Friday, June 13, 2008
I almost got killed ~~ ! by my tummy T_T
Today was a cloudy day, drizzling occasionally.... today was actually my first official volunteer day at VON, too .... thought I would be busy helping out with the fundraising event ... but no, cuz of the gloomy and rainy weather .. it got cancelled ~~~ :(((
Anyhows, I wasn't able to join the event at night either even if it wasn't cancelled ..... cuz I've 458 midterm coming up on Tues !! (soo scared ~~ ) So I ended up doing some paper work and printing some receipts ...in the meantime, my left tummy hurts soooo much .... Oh man, I almost die of pain ~~ no kidding !~~ I tried to go washroom ... but useless ...... sigh, i could tell my face turned very pale at that moment ~~~ Luckily, it went off few mins later ... (those mins were the longest mins in my life ever !!! ) Despite of that, I volunteered from 3 - 7pm ...... that was absolutely tiring even though I didn't do any hard work ..... got to study 458 now .... haihhh
lazy + tired = inefficient
ok, maybe I will take tonight off ~ hehehe
Anyhows, I wasn't able to join the event at night either even if it wasn't cancelled ..... cuz I've 458 midterm coming up on Tues !! (soo scared ~~ ) So I ended up doing some paper work and printing some receipts ...in the meantime, my left tummy hurts soooo much .... Oh man, I almost die of pain ~~ no kidding !~~ I tried to go washroom ... but useless ...... sigh, i could tell my face turned very pale at that moment ~~~ Luckily, it went off few mins later ... (those mins were the longest mins in my life ever !!! ) Despite of that, I volunteered from 3 - 7pm ...... that was absolutely tiring even though I didn't do any hard work ..... got to study 458 now .... haihhh
lazy + tired = inefficient
ok, maybe I will take tonight off ~ hehehe
Friday, June 6, 2008
VIP placement - VON Windsor-Essex County
Attended a so-called interview today ....... this interview was a "so-called" cuz I expected a formal one , so I wore formally ... but it turned out to be kind of a orientation ~~ oh yeah, this interview was for my VIP placement ! I got placed with my first choice ~!! ( how lucky ~ yayyy ^V^)
ok back to my interview ...... the people there are nice... btw, my feet got cut by the stupid heels even though I put on triple plasters !~~ can you imagine that ?!?! It was killing me every step I walked ~~ notice : under the blazing sun !!!! oh man ...............
Actually, that heels cost me around $56 ... that's pricey for heels ... but I was thinking to buy one pair of heels for both work & school .... and guess what ? that heels is considered the most comfortable I have seen during my shopping .... sigh, who knows .... my feet got cut by these "comfortable" heels ... >.< ridiculous ~
Next Friday would be my first day working for VIP placement .... there's an old fashion drive-in-movie night - this is a fundraising event taking place at the Market Square Parking Lot .... hmmm i think I am gonna be very busy helping out ..... anyhows, looking forward to it ~!!!!
P.S : After thinking over and over again, I've finally decided to stay in the Fall and go for internship in the Winter ~~~ this is my latest plan , would still subject to change (very unlikely tho) =P
ok back to my interview ...... the people there are nice... btw, my feet got cut by the stupid heels even though I put on triple plasters !~~ can you imagine that ?!?! It was killing me every step I walked ~~ notice : under the blazing sun !!!! oh man ...............
Actually, that heels cost me around $56 ... that's pricey for heels ... but I was thinking to buy one pair of heels for both work & school .... and guess what ? that heels is considered the most comfortable I have seen during my shopping .... sigh, who knows .... my feet got cut by these "comfortable" heels ... >.< ridiculous ~
Next Friday would be my first day working for VIP placement .... there's an old fashion drive-in-movie night - this is a fundraising event taking place at the Market Square Parking Lot .... hmmm i think I am gonna be very busy helping out ..... anyhows, looking forward to it ~!!!!
P.S : After thinking over and over again, I've finally decided to stay in the Fall and go for internship in the Winter ~~~ this is my latest plan , would still subject to change (very unlikely tho) =P
Friday, May 30, 2008
internship at "Big Four" ? ... hmmm
well well well , I have nothing much to blog this week actually ...... that's because I will have a midterm on Mon followed by 458 12 hw Qs due on Tues ~!! I am gonna be @_@ * ....
In the meantime, I am searching one of "Big Four"'s internship vacancy ... I've tried PWC & .... just got to know that there's Deloitte in Penang !! OMG this is the most valuable job search ever ~!!
ok I gonna go browse thru their website .... bye ~
In the meantime, I am searching one of "Big Four"'s internship vacancy ... I've tried PWC & .... just got to know that there's Deloitte in Penang !! OMG this is the most valuable job search ever ~!!
ok I gonna go browse thru their website .... bye ~
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